


Kiss Me

by whom_ping_willow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Pining Sirius Black, at least at first lol, not so mutual pining, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-01-08 05:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21230438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whom_ping_willow/pseuds/whom_ping_willow
Summary: “Hey!” Remus exclaimed. “You can’t just skip in line like that!” He had been waiting in line forever and was ready to murder the guy if that’s what it took to get his machine back.The wicked laundry machine-thief, merely grinned at him, leaning back against the big machine. His hair was dark, swept up into a messy bun, but a few strands fell down, perfectly framing his face.“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, for a moment leading Remus to believe that he was actually going to apologize and step back. But then he continued:“You can have it back if you… kiss me.”-Sirius has been mesmerised by a handsome student at his university for a while and with a little push from James, he finally manages to do something about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wanna give a big thanks to @aavxx (wxlfstxrx on tumblr) for giving me the inspiration to write this!  
i hope my fic can do your beautiful idea justice <3

There he was again. Sirius noticed him, as soon as he stepped inside the laundry room. The tall slim figure, the golden-brown curls that fell into his eyes when he walked. Oh, that hair. Sirius would be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt of running his fingers through it.

Sirius wasn’t sure when he’d started to notice the boy, but he’d seen him many times before: in his Psychology classes, his English Literature classes, and just around campus, usually accompanied by his laptop or with his head buried deep in a book. 

“Huh.” The voice of James Potter, awfully close to his ear, made Sirius jump and look away from the curly-haired boy, who had just gotten in line for the laundry machines. 

“You’re distracted again,” James pointed out. 

Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes, but didn’t answer James. He _had_ been distracted and hadn’t heard whatever his friend had been talking about. 

“But by what?” James asked thoughtfully. A grin spread on his lips. “Or… by who?”

“By no one, James,” he said, leaning against the wall and trying his best to replicate the nonchalant look that usually came so naturally to him. “I was just thinking about... homework.”

James snorted and crossed his arms. He lowered his head and looked over his glasses to give Sirus a disbelieving look. “Bullshit,” he said. “C’mon, mate, just admit it, someone has your… attention. And that someone isn’t me, which I consider a crime!”

Sirius shot his friend a teasing look. “I was under the impression that you only wanted the ‘attention' of a certain redhead, but if you that’s how you feel about me, you could’ve just said it,” he teased.

James shoved at his shoulder. “That’s not what I meant, you moron. But whoever you have your eyes on is taking your attention away from my very thrilling tale of how I scored that perfect touchdown at the last game, so he must be pretty special.”

“Or maybe I’m just not interested in hearing you talk about football twenty-four/seven,” Sirius clapped back.

James shook his head, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “No, that can’t possibly be,” he said with a cheeky grin. “Come on, Siri. Which one of these handsome young fellas-” he gestured at the long line of students waiting with their laundry, “has made you, Mr. Cool-And-Punk, all soft and mushy?”

Sirius groaned. “_ James _.”

“You might as well tell me,” he said, throwing an arm around Sirius and following his eyes around the room. “Or I’m gonna find out by myself.”

“I hate you,” Sirius said, knowing fully that James was going to keep pestering him about it until he told him. “Okay, you see that guy who got in line not long ago? The tall one with the curls.”

James stretched his neck to look over the crowd, a dumb thing to do, considering he was about the same height as Sirius, who had no trouble seeing the mysterious handsome student.

“I don’t see him,” James said after a little bit, turning back to Sirius. 

“Well maybe you need stronger glasses,” Sirius sneered. “He’s standing next to the girl in a bright yellow jumper. He just took his phone out of his pocket.” He wondered if the boy was texting anyone but quickly shook the thought away. 

“Oh, I think I see him now!” James said, again cocking up his head to look at all the students. “Tall, slim build, wearing an oversized, knitted jumper?”

Sirius nodded. “That would be him,” he confirmed. “Are you happy now?”

James turned back to Sirius, grinning. There was a strangely mischevious glint in his eyes.

“Oh no,” Sirius muttered. He knew that look. 

“He’s cute,” James said, crossing his arms. “You should do something to get his attention.” He stroked his chin in pretend thoughtfulness, then, as though he was hit with a sudden stroke of genius, he snapped his finger and exclaimed: “Ahá!”

_“What_, James?” Sirius groaned impatiently. 

“How about you walk up to him right now and introduce yourself,” James suggested.

Sirius glanced over at the boy, still standing in line for a laundry machine. He tried playing a hypothetical interaction out in his head. What would he even say to him?

_‘Hi, I’m Sirius’_?

He could already imagine the boy glaring at him as though he thought Sirius was insane. He imagined he would say something like, _‘Okay?_’ or ‘_Please leave me alone’_. 

“Are you insane?” Sirius sneered. “I can’t just walk up to him like that! He’s gonna think I’m a creep!”

James sighed. “Sirius,” he said, placing a hand on each of Sirus’ shoulders and forcing him to face him. “I’m sorry but you leave me no other choice.”

“No-” Sirius had to stop James before he said it, _the sacred words_, but it was too late:

“I dare you,” James said, letting go of Sirius and standing back, watching him with a pleased expression. 

Sirius groaned. He hated how well James knew him. For the two of them, saying _‘I dare you_’ was like a holy pact. Once it was said, you had to do the thing. No ifs, ands or buts.

“I hate you,” he sneered at James for the second time that day. “You sadistic motherfucker.”

James grinned, completely unfazed by his friend’s harsh words. “Come on,” he said. “You’ll thank me later.”

-

Remus bounced his leg impatiently as he waited in line for an available laundry machine. How long had he been standing here for now? An hour? Okay, maybe not an hour, he thought to himself, but it felt like forever. Every moment he stood here was a moment wasted.

He couldn’t help but think of the overwhelming amount of homework he needed to do. There was no way he would be able to finish all of it and also get to bed at a reasonable time. He cursed himself for choosing to do his laundry on a Sunday. Shouldn’t he know by now that Sunday was the day practically everyone on campus chose to do their laundry?

Remus slipped his phone out of his pocket; If he was going to stand in line for an eternity, he might as well entertain himself somehow. 

The internet was a grim place. Politics, climate change, a single cute cat video and then _more_ politics. Remus was tired of hearing about Brexit, so instead, he checked his messages. Lily had texted him about 10 minutes ago:

‘Can you be a sweetheart and take my laundry with you today? I’ll owe you big time!’

He bit his lip and texted back:

‘oof, sorry. already went down to the laundry room before i saw your message.’

Hoping Lily wouldn’t be mad at him, and that she would be able to survive without clean laundry for another day or so, Remus closed both Twitter and the Messenger app. He still needed time to pass. Did he have any games on his phone? He rarely had time to play anything, as he was always doing homework or honing what little social life he still had, which was almost none, other than occasionally hanging out with his roommate, Lily. 

Turned out he did have a few games on his phone: finally something he could do to pass the time. Once he got wrapped up in matching the colourful boxes on the screen, time did actually pass pretty quickly. Finally, it was his turn for the next machine. With a gratified sigh, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and waited patiently. 

The clothes spun around inside the machine in front of him. Soon, the time would be up and Remus could finally get his clothes washed so he could return to his homework. 

Only two minutes left of the other person’s laundry time. Then only one minute, and suddenly, the machine beeped, indicating that it was done. A girl in a brightly coloured jumper opened the machine and unloaded all of her now clean clothes into a basket, before leaving.

Remus smiled triumphantly. The laundry machine was his at last.

Or so he had thought. 

Before he could get to the machine, someone else stepped in, right in front of his face, and took it. 

“Hey!” Remus exclaimed. “You can’t just skip in line like that!” He had been waiting in line_ forever_ and was ready to murder the guy if that’s what it took to get his machine back.

The wicked laundry machine-thief, merely grinned at him, leaning back against the big machine. His hair was dark, swept up into a messy bun, but a few strands fell down, perfectly framing his face. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, for a moment leading Remus to believe that he was actually going to apologize and step back. But then he continued:

“You can have it back if you… kiss me.”

Remus was taken aback by the strange request but quickly recomposed himself. He wanted to push the guy right into the machine behind him but instead, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, the opened them again.

He needed that machine. If he didn’t get his laundry done soon, very soon, he wouldn’t have time for all his homework. What else was he supposed to do?

In a moment of infuriating desperation, he grabbed the guy by the collar and pulled him into a kiss. 

-

Sirius didn’t know what he had expected.

But it certainly wasn’t this.

All he could do was stand there, paralyzed, as their lips met. He thought he might’ve let out a soft moan, but he wasn’t sure: all he knew was that his whole body ached, buzzed with electricity, a warm tingle that went through his chest, into every cell in his body. 

When the guy broke the kiss and stepped away, after what had probably only been a second, Sirius was left breathless, with a heart that threatened to jump out his chest.

He looked at the guy, searching for something to prove that he had liked it too, but he merely looked annoyed as he picked up his laundry basket again. “Can I have my machine back now, please?”

Sirius nodded and stepped aside. Slowly, he brought his hand up to his lips. They still felt tingly from the unfamiliar touch. Sirius closed his eyes, let out a sigh, and promised to himself that this wouldn’t be the last time he kissed the tall, handsome student with the golden curls. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
back again
> 
> it me! hoi :3

“Who is he? What’s his name?” Lily asked, already making Remus regret telling her about yesterday’s events.

“I don’t know,” Remus grumbled, crossing his arms and sinking further down in his chair. “I didn’t recognize him.”

Lily refused to give up. “What did he look like?” she asked. “Was he handsome?”

Remus chose to ignore the second question. “He was a bit shorter than me,” he said. “WIth dark hair and a stupid, wide grin.”

“You’ve got to give me more than that!” Lily said, clearly unsatisfied with the vague description. “What colour were his eyes?”

“Funnily enough I didn’t stare at his eyes,” Remus said. “I’m not a weirdo.” 

Lily groaned. “Come on. You didn’t see his eyes? How is that even possible?” She closed her eyes. “What colour are _my_ eyes?” 

Remus sighed. “Green,” he said. “But that’s different, Lils, we’ve known each other for over a year. I’ve only seen this guy once.”

“Ugh, fine,” Lily said, opening her eyes again. “But I’m gonna get to the bottom of this!”

Remus shook his head dismissively. “Just leave it alone, will you?” he pleaded. “I only kissed him so he would give back the laundry machine. I’m probably never gonna see him again.”

And good riddance, he thought. Part of him still wished he had just pushed the guy into the laundry machine and closed the lid. 

“Oh, come on, Remus,” Lily whined. “Was he at least a good kisser?”

Remus rolled his eyes, shutting the book he had been trying to read. “I’m not answering that,” he said, getting up. “And we have to get to class anyway.”

-

Remus and Lily both took English Literature, and they liked to walk to class together, often stopping to get a coffee first. They didn’t have time for coffee today, though, thanks to Lily and her ridiculous stream of questions earlier. 

They walked to class in silence; Remus didn’t wanna talk any more about yesterday. In fact, he hadn’t wanted to talk about it in the first place. He had just briefly told Lily about it, the infuriating encounter and the brief kiss, but he had hoped Lily would just listen to his complaints and move on, not start interrogating him about it!

Remus stopped in his tracks. There he was, the guy from yesterday, casually leaning against the wall right outside the classroom. 

His hair wasn't in a bun today: he had let it hang freely and Remus noticed that it almost reached his shoulders. 

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Lily, that’s him.”

Ignoring Lily’s audible gasp, he kept walking, trying to avoid any eye contact with the guy. 

But it was too late. He must’ve noticed Remus there because, at that moment, he stepped in front of him, blocking the entrance to the classroom. 

“Hey,” the guy said, grinning at Remus. “Remember me?”

Remus crossed his arms, scowling at the dark-haired almost-stranger. “You’re the guy who cut in front of me, stole my machine, then asked me to kiss you,” he said. “Yes, I remember you.”

The guy's cheeky grin grew even wider. “I’m actually sorry about that,” he said, although he didn't look very sorry. “I was dared by my friend. Well, not to kiss you, just to get your attention. And, well, I succeeded, didn’t I?”

Remus scoffed and looked away. He refused to admit that this idiot, and most of all the kiss they had shared, had stuck with him. 

“What do you want?” he asked instead. “Are you following me or something?”

The guy looked taken aback by the question but quickly regained his composure. “No, I was actually just waiting for a friend,” he said. “But then I saw you, which was a nice bonus.” 

“What do you want?” Remus asked again, looking at his watch. Class would start any minute. 

The guy cleared his throat and for a moment, Remus thought he might have been nervous. It was hard to tell, though. 

“My friend and I are having this party Friday,” he said, leaning against the wall, head cocked up as he looked at Remus with a bold smile. “Wanna come?”

“What?”

Remus had never been invited to any kind of party before. Unless, of course, you counted elementary school birthday parties, which you probably didn't. For the most part, this was because he never _wanted_ to be invited to anything. Parties weren’t his thing. Too loud, too many people and most of them drunk.

“I said: Do you wanna come?” the guy repeated. “To the party.”

No, Remus absolutely did not want to come, but he didn’t say that. In that moment, his curiosity was greater than his need to avoid situations like these.

“Why do you want me at the party?” he asked.

The guy didn’t seem entirely sure how to answer that. he fidgeted with the strap of his bag for a while, before just shrugging. “Would be fun,” he answered. 

Remus didn’t trust that. He didn’t trust the guy’s wide grin or his playful eyes, which Remus, silently cursing at Lily, noticed were grey. 

“Sorry,” he told the guy, not because he actually felt sorry but just... because. “But I can’t come.”

“Why?” he asked, clearly disappointed. Had he really expected anything else?

“Because I don’t want you,” Remus said, before turning around and walking into the classroom before the guy could say anything else. 

-

“Holy shit,” Lily said, as Remus sat down beside her. The lecture had begone, but the professor didn’t seem too bothered by the fact that he was late: in fact, Remus doubted he had even noticed him come in. “Remus, that was_ Sirius Black_!” She kept her voice to a whisper, but it was a really loud whisper. 

“Am I supposed to know who that is?” Remus muttered, just loud enough for Lily to hear, as he got out his laptop to take notes. “Can you send me your notes after class?” he asked.

“Oh, you’ve barely missed anything, you’ll be fine,” Lily reassured him. “And yes!" she added. "Everyone knows who Sirius Black is.”

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, opening an empty word document. “Well, I don’t,” he said. “So are you going to tell me or will I just have to forget about it and move on without that knowledge?” Although he sounded like he couldn’t care less, he was now just slightly curious about the guy, apparently named Sirius Black.

“He’s basically a legend here,” she explained, clearly trying not to lose focus on the lecture. “Him and Potter.”

“Potter?” Remus was starting to think he needed to go outside more, meet some new people. 

“Yes, James Potter. Everyone knows him and Black, except for you I guess.”

“Are they those arrogant football types?” Remus asked. “Because then I’m really not interested.”

Lily bit her lip, hands going over the keyboard as she quickly took notes on the lecture, only taking a short break to turn her focus back to Remus. “Potter plays on the football team, but not Black,” she told him. "Apparently he's 'above that', according to himself."

Someone in the seat in front of them turned around, an annoyed expression on her face. “Can you two keep it down?” she hissed. “Some of us are trying to learn!”

“Right, sorry,” Lily whispered, cheeks going faintly pink as she turned back to the lecture: She was used to being the one telling _others_ to shut up during lectures. 

A few seats down, someone caught Remus’ eye: it was him, Black, talking quietly to a guy with dark, messy hair. Was that James Potter? Remus rolled his eyes and turned back to his notes. Why would he care?

-

Sirius had never been rejected like this before, and it didn’t please him.

“What does he mean he doesn’t wanna go to the party?” he whined, as he and James were walking through a hallway towards the canteen. “Does he not know it’s gonna be awesome?” 

James chuckled, looking up from his phone. “I don’t know, mate,” he said. “Maybe he thinks you’re a weirdo? The only other interaction you’ve had was when you basically pressured him into kissing you.”

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “You made me do that,” he said.

“I made you go up to him, I didn’t say anything about kissing,” James reminded him. 

“I panicked!” Sirus groaned. “Maybe I should just give up?” he mumbled, voice weak. He couldn’t stop thinking about the guy, Nameless Cutie, as he had started calling him, but maybe leaving him alone was the best thing to do? It was just a dumb crush, he could get over it.

“That’s not what I said.” James smiled, hands in his pocket as he turned around to look at Sirius, walking sideways through the hallway. “You have his attention now. You can work with that,” he said. “Just, you know… Be yourself.”

“‘Be myself’?” Sirius huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “James, what kind of bullshit advice is that?! I hope that’s not how you’re planning to get Evans to like you.”

“What?” James laughed, apparently ignoring the comment on his own crush. “Are you afraid that your Nameless Cutie won’t like you for who you are?”

“No,” Sirius lied. “I’m bloody perfect. I just mean, not everyone is as amazing as me. You probably shouldn’t apply this dumb piece of advice to your own life.”

But in reality? Yes, that was exactly what he feared. 

The two of them stepped into the canteen. 

“Look,” James said. “That’s him right there, isn’t it?”

In the line for food, the Nameless Cutie stood, leaning back against the wall as he waited. Sirius had a feeling of dejá-vu. 

“Either you go up to him, or I do,” James threatened, turning, hands on his hips, to look at Sirius. “Guess which one is going to be more embarrassing.”

Sirius bit his lip, gaze wandering from his friend, standing in front of him with an expectant look on his face, to the Nameless Cutie. Was it really worth it? Sure he might be able to convince him to go to the party, using dirty tricks as he did with the kiss, but the guy clearly wasn’t a fan of it. Maybe admiring from afar would be better, safer.

But then there was James, who would without a doubt go up to the guy and embarrass him. That’s just the kind of person James Potter was. He could imagine the conversation so clearly:

_ ‘Hi, I’m James. My good friend Sirius is in love with you, will you come to our party?’ _

Sirius sighed, turning his eyes back to James, who was still just standing there, waiting for him to do or say something.

“_Fine_,” he groaned. “I’ll go up and talk to him, but that’s it. I’m not gonna be weird about it.”

James laughed, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, right. Go get him, Loverboy,” he said teasingly.

As Sirius flipped him off and walked to the food line, he heard James call behind him: “Buy me a sandwich now you’re there!”

-

The Nameless Cuties reaction upon seeing Sirius approach him was: “Oh no, not you again.”

Already, he was off to a bad start.

“It’s nice to see you too.” Sirius’ wide grin did not at all match his insides: heartbeat quickening the closer he got to the guy, and a sudden desire to turn around and run away. 

The Nameless Cutie crossed his arms, giving him an annoyed look. “What do you want, Black?”

Sirius’ grin disappeared and he gave the guy a look of confusion. “How do you know my name?”

“Oh, uhm…” Nameless Cutie shrugged. “My friend told me.”

“Ah…” Sirius nodded, wondering how the guy’s friend knew his name. “Well, this isn’t fair,” he said. “You know _my_ name, but I don’t know yours!”

He rolled his eyes and looked away from Sirius. “Great,” he said. “Let’s keep it that way.”

“Oh, come on.” Sirius grinned playfully. “It’s not like I’m asking you to kiss me.”

The Still Nameless Cutie groaned, throwing his head back in frustration. “If I tell you, will you leave me alone?” he asked.

Sirius shrugged. “Probably not,” he said. “But I’ll pay for your lunch.”

That seemed to get his attention. He looked at Sirius, probably considering the offer carefully before nodding. “Okay,” he said. “My name is Remus. Remus Lupin.”

_Remus Lupin._

Sirius smiled. He wasn’t sure why, but he thought the name fit him, The No Longer Nameless Cutie, quite perfectly. 

“Well, nice to meet you, Remus,” he said, extending his hand for him to shake. He didn’t, but Sirius did not let that get him down. “Will you go to the party?” he asked again. 

This time Remus actually laughed, surprising Sirius thoroughly. 

“No, I won’t,” he said. 

“I’ll pay for your lunch for the rest of the week?”

Remus shook his head. “Not worth it,” he said. 

“But-” Sirius was searching his head for things to say that would convince Remus to go with him, but couldn’t think of any. Luckily, he didn’t have to:

The food line moved forward, leaving a space between Remus and the person in front of him, and before the other could react, Sirius jumped in and took the spot. 

Remus groaned. “Come on!” he said. “You can’t just cut in line, you fucking prick!”

Sirius grinned. “Just did,” he said. “But you can have the spot back if you…” He trailed off, winking at Remus as though the two of them had some sort of dirty secret.

“Fine,” Remus grumbled. If looks could kill, Sirius would’ve been dead by now, he thought.

Sirius smiled. “Does that mean-?”

“Yes," Remus interrupted him. "I’ll go to your stupid party."

Sirius grinned, stepping aside to give Remus his spot in the line back. “Great,” he said, struggling to contain his joy. “You won’t regret it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments/reviews are highly appreciated!
> 
> have a nice day! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter is here! this one was kinda difficult to write, i'm sorry for the wait.  
a big thanks to @dyingbetweenthepages (on tumblr) for beta reading this chapter for me <3
> 
> ((tw: desciption/depiction of a panic attack))

Remus threw himself on his bed, burying his head in pillows. “I can’t believe I agreed to this,” he groaned, voice muffled by the pillow. 

He felt Lily sit down at the edge of his bed. “Oh, stop being so dramatic,” she said. She was probably smiling and shaking her head at him right now. 

“I can be as dramatic as I want,” Remus mumbled into his pillow. 

“Remus, it’s just a party,” Lily said. “It’s gonna be fun!”

_ Fun? _ Remus scoffed. “I could pretend I’m sick. Then I won’t have to go.”

Remus could practically feel Lily’s eye-roll. “You’re being ridiculous,” she told him. “Come on, it’s gonna be great! Free food, free booze-”

“Drunk crowd, loud music, insufferable arsehole Sirius Black,” Remus continued the list for her. He sat up in bed, looking at Lily with a pained expression. “Please, I’m begging you to just put me out of my misery already.”

She _ tsk _-ed and shook her head dismissively, getting up from his bed. “Come on, you bloody drama queen,” she said. “Let’s find you something to wear for tonight.” 

-

“You really think he’ll come?” Sirius asked. He thought he managed to sound cool, like he didn’t really care, but apparently, something gave him away.

James laughed. “Fucking hell, Sirius,” he said, looking away from the mirror where he’d been trying on outfits. “Why wouldn’t he come?”

Sirius shrugged. “He didn’t exactly seem psyched about it, did he?” He sighed, sinking further down the couch. “And maybe he forgot the address. And since he doesn’t have my number he can’t text me and be like ‘hey, where did you say your house is again?’”

James rolled his eyes. “He’ll come,” he reassured him, but Sirius still wasn’t convinced.

“Guess we’ll have to see,” he mumbled, getting up from the couch. “Anyway, I’ll go get shit ready for tonight.”

-

Remus wasn’t sure he’d gotten the right address. He was standing in front of a fucking _mansion_. Sure, Sirius being a rich kid wouldn’t have surprised Remus but this house was absolutely huge.

Only one way to find out if it was the right place: Remus went up the stairs to the front door to knock. 

As he stood in front of the door, he thought he could hear music. Maybe this _was_ the right place after all.

He knocked. Waited. Rang the doorbell. No one came to open. They probably couldn’t hear him over the loud music. Perhaps he should just go inside? His hand lingered over the doorknob, but he stopped himself. What if it wasn’t the right place? He couldn’t just walk into a strangers house. 

“Are you gonna stand there all day long or are you gonna open the fucking door?”

Remus turned around, startled. He hadn’t noticed anyone coming up behind him but there they were, three buff guys - probably football players - standing behind him, waiting to get in. 

“Sorry,” Remus mumbled, stepping aside. “Is this, uhm… Do you guys know if this is Sirius Black’s house?”

The tallest of the guys opened the door and went inside, not paying Remus any notice. The two others followed him but one of them turned around to hold the door for Remus.

“Honestly not sure whose house it is,” he said. “But it’s Black and Potter hosting the party.”

Remus nodded, quickly stepping inside before the door closed. “Thanks,” he muttered. 

The music was so much louder inside, even before Remus stepped into the gigantic living room. 

It looked more like a ballroom of sorts and was probably bigger than Remus’ entire house. He bit his lip. _So many people_...

Some were dancing, some standing by the bar, talking and drinking and some again seemed to be playing games. Everything was overwhelming: the neon lights, the pounding bass, the crowd. Remus had way too many thoughts but could focus on absolutely none of them. 

_ Who has a pool table in their living room? _

_ That home bar looks fancy… _

_ Sirius’ parents must be _ so _ rich. _

Now that Remus was here, there was no point in not trying to enjoy himself; he pushed himself through the crowd towards the bar. How exactly did this work? Had they hired a bartender? Was it self-service?

Someone was standing at the bar, but definitely not a professional bartender by the looks of the drinks he was making. 

“Hey, what can I getcha?” the ‘bartender’ asked Remus, who shrugged.

“The cheapest booze you got?” he said. 

“Why?” Remus was startled by a voice coming from right behind him. “It’s on the house.” Sirius Black smiled, his grey eyes illuminated by the neon lights. “You came.”

“I did,” Remus said, leaning against the bar. “Nice little house you got here.”

Sirius laughed. “Not really mine,” he said. “But my parents weren’t home this weekend so I thought I’d borrow it. Are you enjoying the party?”

Remus shrugged. “Just got here. It’s not too bad, I suppose.”

“See?” Sirius grinned; that stupid grin that kinda made Remus want to slap him.

“I told you, you’d enjoy it.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Sirius leaned over the bar, dangerously close to Remus. “Mark my words,” he said, pointing a finger at Remus. “By the end of the night, you will have had a good time at this party.”

“Doubt it,” Remus said, the slightest hint of a playful smile on his lips.

“We’ll see,” Sirius said, before turning to the bartender. “2 shots of your strongest whatever, please,” he ordered, raising his voice to be heard over the music. Remus realized how close he and Sirius had been standing; they hadn’t needed to shout at all. Sirius smiled at the bartender and pointed to Remus. “This cute lad next to me desperately needs to get drunk.”

-

Remus had lost count of how much he’d had to drink. There had been a shot of something very strong which had burnt his throat, then Sirius had dared him to chug a beer - something he had never tried before and was therefore terrible at. Luckily, Sirius had been able to give him “training”, which was actually just the two of them chugging beers until it got gross. Remus had wanted something to take away the taste of cheap beer so he’d ordered something pink and fancy. After that, he’d just stopped counting. 

“Hey, wanna dance?” Sirius asked, emptying his glass and placing it on the bar.

Remus did the same. “Sure,” he said, allowing Sirius to lead him to the dance floor.

The alcohol seemed to have drowned his voice of reason long ago - the voice that told him he was going to regret his choices tomorrow. Tomorrow was far away, perhaps it would never come. 

The dance floor had looked uncomfortably crowded from Remus’ place at the bar, but it was nothing compared to actually standing there. Someone bumped into Remus, everyone was way too close to him, it felt as though he was being pulled into a great pit of _so_ many people surrounding him, leaving no space for the air he needed to breathe. 

“Remus, are you okay?”

He took in a sharp breath, then another, but the air didn’t seem to reach his lungs no matter how hard he tried.

“Remus?”

Sirius’ hand on his shoulder. Remus didn’t try to pull away, just let Sirius take his hand and lead him… _ somewhere _.

-

“Remus, hey, just breathe, alright? It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

Remus wouldn’t have thought it, but Sirius’ voice actually had a soothing effect. It was something to focus on, something to hold onto other than the unjustifiable and sudden dread. 

The fresh air helped too. Sirius had taken him up to his room, then out of a window to a platform on the roof where they could both sit. He was squatting next to Remus, watching him struggle to regain control of his breathing with a concerned look on his face.

Remus closed his eyes, leaning against the wall behind him. _Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in._ He chanted it like a mantra in his head. The cold air burned his lungs as it slowly untangled the tight knot that was currently his chest.

He stayed like that for a while, just breathing in, breathing out, breathing in... He had a feeling Sirius was watching him and when he opened his eyes, that turned out to be true. 

“Are you alright?” Sirius asked with that same concerned look.

Remus nodded, smiling weakly. “I’m better, at least,” he said. “Just… got a little overwhelmed by the crowd.”

Sirius nodded. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “For making you do that.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I’m the one who made you go to the party,” Sirius said. “I didn’t know this would happen, but still… I feel responsible.”

“You’re not,” Remus said, shaking his head. “It’s not your fault. And to be fair-” He let out a shaky laugh. “I didn’t know this would happen either.”

Sirius nodded slowly, sitting down beside Remus, back against the wall. “But… you’re feeling better now?” he asked again.

Remus nodded. He felt exhausted, like he’d just run a mile, but he _did _feel better. “Yeah,” he said, to answer Sirius’ question. “The fresh air definitely helped.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sirius told him. “Are you cold?”

He must’ve seen Remus shiver. He was, in fact, quite cold, but he didn’t feel ready to go back inside yet. 

“Nah,” he answered, though a gush of icy wind had just made him involuntarily shiver, giving away his lie.

Sirius shrugged off the shiny leather jacket he was wearing and held it out to Remus. 

“Oh.” Remus chuckled and shook his head. “No, it’s fine, you can keep your-”

“No, I insist,” Sirius said, draping the black leather over Remus’ shoulders. It didn’t give much warmth, but it was a nice gesture. Remus felt the blood rush to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he muttered, pulling the jacket around himself to better shield him from the wind. 

He could feel Sirius’ eyes on him. “You’re sure you’re okay?” he, Sirius, asked. “You wanna, like… talk about it or anything?”

Remus shook his head, careful not to look at Sirius. “It’s fine,” he assured him. “I’d rather have a distraction, to be honest.”

“Oh, I’m great at distractions.”

“Yeah?” Remus watched Sirius out of the corner of his eye. He had his head leaned back against the wall, looking up at the sky. 

“There are almost no clouds tonight. You can see the stars so clearly.” Sirius had a distant, almost dreamy look on his face. Remus tore his eyes away from him to look at the stars. “I think the sky can be a great distraction,” Sirius muttered, clearly in his own thoughts. “It’s so _ big _.” 

The stars _were_ a great distraction, Remus thought, gazing up at the infinite abyss of twinkling lights. But what was possibly an even better distraction was listening to Sirius _talk_ about the stars. He seemed like an entirely different person, his eyes lighting up with the brightness of the star he was named after.

“It’s that one. Do you see it?” Sirius leaned against Remus to better point to the right point of the sky. Remus didn’t think Sirius noticed the physical closeness and he wouldn’t be the one to mention it.

“I think I see it,” Remus said, squinting as he looked up.

Sirius shot him a smile. “The brightest star in the sky,” he said, letting his arm fall. It wasn’t before it was fully around Remus’ shoulder that he seemed to notice, quickly moving back to a respectable distance. 

Remus didn’t want him to move away, but he didn’t say that. 

“I probably owe you an apology,” Sirius mumbled, running a hand through his dark hair. 

“Huh?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, don’t worry about it. You were just a little caught up in the moment, it happens…”

“No, Remus, I mean…” Struggling for words, Sirius looked at him, the most sincere look on his face. “I like you, but, uhm, that wasn’t a reason to act so inappropriate towards you. I mean… asking you to kiss me in the laundry room? That was a dick move.” He bit his lip, nervously looking down at his hands. “What I’m trying to say is, it’s okay if you don’t like me back. I won’t push you anymore. And maybe - I mean, only if you want to - we can be friends?”

Remus’ gaze had fallen on Sirius’ lips, but whether the thoughts running through his mind came from the alcohol in his blood or if they were really him, he didn’t know. “I don’t want to be friends.” He hadn’t meant to say that.

Sirius’ head dropped. “Oh,” he mumbled. “That’s totally okay, I mean, like I said I don’t wanna push-”

“I want to kiss you.” Remus hadn’t meant to say that either, but it came out before Sirius could even finish his sentence.

The latter perked his head up, dark locks dancing around his face. “You… what?”

Remus didn’t feel drunk, but he must have been. It seemed that he had no limitations. “Kiss me.” He said it like it was a challenge.

A challenge Sirius apparently decided to accept. 

This kiss was sloppier - and so much better - than the brief one they had shared in the laundry room. Sirius Black had a distinct taste of cigarette smoke, alcohol and mint and Remus felt he would never get enough of it. 

They did have to break apart eventually though, for air, but Remus stayed close enough to Sirius to feel his warmth. 

“Remus…” Sirius was out of breath, his face thoroughly flushed. “Are you sure you want this?”

“I probably shouldn’t answer that question before I’m sober,” Remus grinned. “But right now? Yes, this is exactly what I want.”

In response, Sirius smiled, sitting back in a more comfortable position. Remus did the same, resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “The stars really are quite beautiful,” he muttered, to which Sirius laughed. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. 

Remus wanted to stay out there, in that moment, forever. He never wanted to go back inside, to step away from Sirius’ warmth. He never wanted the sun to come back, taking the spotlight away from all the other stars. He closed his eyes, reaching for Sirius’ hand. It was warm, just like the rest of him. “You know what?”

He went on without waiting for an answer: “You were right. I did have a good time.”

Sirius chuckled, giving his hand a squeeze. “Well I don't wanna say I told you so but..."

Remus squeezed back. "Shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, that was it.   
please let me know what you guys thought about this. kudos, comments, reviews... they mean a lot and are one of the things that motivate me to keep sharing my writing.

**Author's Note:**

> thx for reading my fic! comments/reviews are really appreciated (:
> 
> follow me on tumblr if you want to. username: whom-ping-willow


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